Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize