Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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