we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
