I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize
