Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
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