Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
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