Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
