She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize