I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
