I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Barsexuality is the new black.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I'm passing your future prison.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Randomize
