man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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