the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I'm both gender and math confused
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
