Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
