Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
