Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
