Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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