Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Randomize
