haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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