I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
