Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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