how hairy? two words: wookie tits
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
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