This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
my poor anus
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize