I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
