I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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