were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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