PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Randomize
