The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Plan B is the new Plan A
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize
