end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
