The brown eye won't let me do that either.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
