Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize