Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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