he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Randomize
