i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
