i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
