You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize