I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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