so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
