I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
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