I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
