and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
