Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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