it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
