I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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