My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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