he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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