Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
