the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
