They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
this must be what syphilis tastes like
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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