Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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