If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
