i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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