I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
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