I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Randomize
