I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
