What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
