Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Randomize
