gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Randomize
