We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
