My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Randomize
