I cannot find my penis.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
