brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
