Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
