bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
