Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
