Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
