k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
The power of my boobs compel you
The adults are the big ones right?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
