Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
If I die, sorry about rent.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
