Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
we're so committed to being not committed
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize