I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
