so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Randomize
