I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I can't turn off my feet"
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
