No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
